1.  Pure love

I especially love my little ones for this.  No one is better than a little child to teach you about pure love.  My little children genuinely care about me.  I can feel it.  They get worried when I am sad.  They are disappointed when I fall short.  I have never felt more pure and genuine love since being a mother.  There is nothing that touches me more than the touch of a little tiny hand on mine when I have had a bad day.  Or a little voice whispering in my ear: “Mom, you need to get some rest.”  Is this what it was like to live in God’s perfect heaven?  People comforting us, reassuring us, urging us on when we fall short.  Loving us unconditionally?  It must have been for the people in my life who are the closest to heaven are also the most loving.

Of course those same little ones can also be perfectly frustrating when they are having a tantrum in the middle of the library or pooping yellow baby poop on your Mother’s Day dress (yes, I’ve been there!).  But they are completely genuine.  Completely unaffected.  And if they love you, they really do.

2.  Motherhood Dispels Loneliness

One reason I had a big family was because my mother-in-law was always on the phone.  She was the mother of eight.  She was not blessed with a perfect body or a perfect home and her children brought her many challenges.  But she had been raised as an only child (she had one brother who was much older than her) and she wanted her children to have the blessing of siblings.  When I met her she was a frazzled but very lovable woman who was always talking on the phone.  Helping out a child in college with a paper.  Making arrangements for a wedding.  Comforting a child who was neglected or ill.  She was the consummate mother and I was captivated by the messy happiness of her family.

3.  Raison d’etre (I thought I’d through some French in here since I never use my high school French)

Yes, you now have a “reason for being,” a reason for life.  These dear little and big people will tax your resources constantly.  You will constantly come up short.  But no one else will be able to do what you are doing.  No government position, no preschool, no one will be able to replicate the love and the caring that only a parent can share.  You will be so desperately needed and no one will ever be able to take your place.  You will know this.  You will feel this.  At times it will be terrible. And, at times, it will be wonderful.  I love this statement from Tagore once repeated by a man I admire: “Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.”

4.  Life is more Interesting

My life is infinitely more blessed and interesting because of my children.  Who would have thought that a quiet girl who liked to read and who never got asked on a date in high school would have a house full of boys (and one princess!).  I am living a life I never dreamed possible.  I have attended more soccer matches and basketball games than I ever thought possible.  And each of my children’s talents and challenges has broadened my horizons.  I have learned about art, medicine, psychology, cooking, interior design, computer programming.  I have helped with science fair projects and am currently treasurer for the PTA (I never took a math class in college) and helping with the Chinese New Year for our dual immersion school (although I know about two words of Chinese).  This is interesting and fun — when it’s not exhausting….

5.  Motherhood Blesses Your Marriage

When you have a child you forge a new sort of marriage.  “Forge” is the perfect word because your marriage will literally be put through a refining fire.  Before, your marriage was fun but pretty selfish.  You left when you wanted to leave.  You went where you wanted.  You had lots of time to binge watch television series and to go running together.  This will no longer be the case.  You will give up some hobbies and some entanglements.

But you will be creating something new.  A partnership.  There will be some major growing pains as you learn to work together on a shared project: the project of parenthood.  And you will have some conflict.  You will be working harder than you ever worked in your life.  But if you and your partner persist you will forge something beautiful and strong for your children and for society.  A family.

I love this statement from a president of our church about his marriage of over fifty years:  “Today neither of us stands as tall as we once did.  As I looked at her across the table, I noted a few wrinkles in her face and hands. But are they less beautiful than before? No, in fact, they are more so…in their very presence is something that speaks reassuringly of strength and integrity and a love that runs more deeply and quietly than ever before.”

6.  A chance to use my creativity 

I’ve met some fabulous mothers in my day.  They were all different.  But they all were creating beautiful things in their home.  Some mothers excelled at entertaining and creating a warm home environment for their children and their friends.  Others focused on delicious food or healthy lifestyles.  Others on the arts.  But these mothers cared and they sought excellence in their work.  And they put tremendous effort into creating a family, just as an artist would create a painting.  I get to use my talents to influence others every day in mothering.  My love of good books, gardening and Jesus Christ are the colors I have chosen in my palette. I am painting with care. And I love it.  I think that motherhood is the most creative job in the world.

7.  Perfect imperfection

One thing I love about theology from my church is its philosophy about Eve.  Eve is a very complex character in my church’s literature, and a heroine of sorts.  As I see it she had a choice to make between a perfectly ordered life in the Garden of Eden or a life with children and growth but with the accompanying pain and imperfection.  And she chose the imperfectly perfect life.

And it surely is no Eden.  Just yesterday I had a houseful of kids over.  We had hoses being funneled through basement windows, bags of dried lavender from my craft room being sifted over the carpet, and an entire bag of popsicles consumed (I quickly hid my Christmas orange rolls in the tupperware cupboard before the storm descended).  But something in me just loved all the running around and the shouting and even the crying child who came in telling me that someone had hit them with a stick.  It was a full, happy afternoon – although I finally put on a movie so I could have  a little break:-).  I realize that a large family is not possible for all, but having children will help you learn that life is about people – and that we have to give up some other things in the process.