2025

2018

For many years my husband has a tradition that is so endearing.  On the first day of school or thereabouts he gathers all the children to the front porch and amid groans and sighs he manages to extract from them a few precious smiles (or grimaces) for a picture.

These pictures over the past fifteen or so years track the almost imperceptible growth that has taken place in our family.  They are reminder of the march of time that carries us along in its merciless wake.

This year there were only three children left in the picture.  We sent it out to our expanding family group chat.  And one of my sons commented – “That’s sad.  Nobody left.”  It is sad but I am so grateful for the years and the good memories that we have made.  And I have some regrets too.

What have I learned after almost twenty-five years as a mother? 

Play by God’s rules.  They are the secret to a happy life.

Time is precious.  Spend it with your kids.

Don’t get in the anger habit.  Don’t criticize.  Let your kids grow at their own pace.   

Pick your battles (we fought too many battles that weren’t worth the fight)

Be nice to your spouse.  Keep your love alive. Nothing destroys a family faster than divorce.

Nature heals.  Camp. Ski. Hike.  And do it often.

Fancy clothes and homes are highly overrated. 

Limit tv and video games. Good books, thinking toys, clean movies and healthy food are worth the investment.

Be home when they are coming and going.

Take time to talk one on one with your kids.

Teach your kids to serve others and serve with them.

Teach your kids to be nice even to people who are mean.

Don’t pick favorites.  Every child is precious.

Give your kids chores.  Get them jobs.  Teach them the value of money.

Make your home a welcome place for their friends (I wasn’t too good at this)

Be warm and loving.  When they come home treat them like rockstars. 

Take a family vacation every year. 

Don’t overreact to their pain and mistakes.  Let them change and grow.  

Don’t expect other people to train your children.

Teach them about their roots.

Go to church.  Go to church activities.  Be fully invested in your faith.

Sports are good but don’t get obsessed with them.  

Pray for your spouse and children by name.  Listen to what God tells you.

Pray together as a family.

Give the raising of your kids everything you’ve got.  They grow up way too fast.